To be Content
Happiness and love cannot be found in a world of reason: this is simply a fact. It is not brave nor heroic to live a life of complete logic – a mistake I realized too late.
I was an imperfect idealist who lost sight of who he was, afraid of getting too close to others because he knew that one day they would all be gone.
Caring for others would hurt more than being alone – or so I thought. Memories of the people that I met would fill me with regret, but my silence spoke louder than any words I could have said.
Lived each day burdened with the most painful of all emotions: regret.
Having not wanted to dream beyond what I knew was real, out of fear of never finding it.
Where I considered others as objects instead of actual people.
Where I considered life to be the same as living, and where I considered others to have no meaning.
Where just being in the same room as my family was enough – but it never was.
Now I dream a million dreams knowing that even if one came true, I’d be satisfied.
Living each day holding on to the little things that give my life meaning and purpose.
Giving away love like rose petals drifting through the wind until it reaches a soul that it will touch
Waking up and breathing in a new face each day to satisfy my soul.
Knowing that no matter what pain I must endure, to not lose in this battle to loneliness, who rests hungrily in the corner waiting to be fed.
Knowing that I always have someone that I can come back too – my family.
Knowing that I am home, burying all of my regrets in a casket…
And under it all, what do I wish for? To be content.
claire351
February 25, 2019 — 8:09 pm
Dearest Abhay,
I never knew this side of you, and how you’ve changed. Progression is so valuable, especially as were are so young. I’m proud that you’ve grown, and look forward to seeing more of what you offer.
This piece is brilliant in it’s contrast, the past versus the present to be exact. Then you punctuate it powerfully with the ‘thesis’ of your about me. It is such a clever way to show growth. To add on, the blog itself is beautiful, feeling something Dorian Gray himself would love. (with the falling flower petals).
To improve, I want more! I understand that this piece works in its concision, but you are so talented! Bless us with more lyrical goodness.
I’m am so glad to share another class with you, and get to pick your brain even more.
Sincerely,
Claire
AbhayP
March 3, 2019 — 1:02 am
Claire,
To be honest, I never knew I had this side to me either. My use of the past and present was a way for me to display this progression, and I’m glad you saw that. Also, I NEVER thought of my blog as something that Dorian would admire, but now thinking about the aesthetic movement I can see why. It was great going on the AP journey with you as I considered us all to be our own little family, and I’m grateful that I get to continue to work with you in Creative Writing as well.
Sincerely,
Abhay
lizamkv
February 27, 2019 — 7:29 pm
Dearest Abhay,
Thank you for posting such a vulnerable piece. I didn’t know you as well as I do this year and based on the impressions you’ve created through this post, I can see that you have made incredible emotional progression. Whenever I think of you, I think of a super sweet, sensitive, and brilliant mind – so discovering that you value logic more than connection intrigues me.
I love the way you interweave poetry and slant rhyme into a realistic piece such as this one. My only suggestion for improvement would be to integrate how your change in values will affect your writing or the types of pieces you’ll be posting. To sum it up: what will be your new intention this year as a writer and reader in this class?
Overall, I loved this piece and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Love,
Liza
AbhayP
March 3, 2019 — 1:22 am
Liza,
Wow! I always thought people saw me as more of a logical, science-oriented type of guy, so it’s lovely knowing that I am seen as different from how I perceived myself. Like you said, for this piece I wanted it to still carry a poetic quality without losing its realism. For the improvements I also felt that I needed to add some more of my own personal values. AP was an amazing journey with you, and unfortunately I never had the time to learn any Russian.
Sincerely,
Abhay
bluesoilder4210
February 27, 2019 — 8:30 pm
Dear Abhay,
I loved the imagery in this, it was beautiful to really see how everything was coming together and I could really see how you grew as a person to someone that won’t let the loneliness get to them.
If I had to give any criticism I would say that maybe bring in more facets of your personality instead of just focusing on just a few aspects of your personality. Though that is probably more just a personal opinion than anything.
Either way this was a great piece and I felt closer to you reading this and I ended up relating to it heavily so there’s that.
Sincerely,
Iqra
AbhayP
March 3, 2019 — 6:28 pm
Iqra,
Thank you for reading my blog! Although you may not know me well enough, I’m glad that you could see my growth just through what I wrote. For future pieces, I will definitely consider trying to bring in more bits of myself. It’s great knowing that you were able to relate to this piece and feel closer to me because of it.
Sincerely,
Abhay
sarahh176
February 28, 2019 — 9:21 pm
Dear Abhay,
Wow! This post was absolutely amazing! It was short, sweet and filled with so much emotion that made me understand the person you are in a different way. With every line I read, I was able to relate to every single thing you said and it spoke to me.
For improvement on this piece, I would maybe say to add an explanation at the end for maybe some more context or insights on who you are. But other than that, everything about this is just great and I especially love where you said “Caring for others would hurt more than being alone – or so I thought. ” I had to stop reading for a second and realize that I haven’t read anything so true in a while.
I can’t wait to read more of your amazing work because the work you share in class is astonishing and really powerful!
Love,
Sarah (:
toluwalase890
March 1, 2019 — 7:33 pm
My Dear Abhay,
This piece enabled me to know you in a completely different light. You are a very interesting man, and to see the journey and growth behind this man is simply phenomenal. I love how you gave me a breath after every sentence. I’m so glad for this insight and inspiration from you.
For improvement, I would suggest telling us more about yourself, as opposed to just one experience in your life.
Otherwise, I’m really intrigued by this. I look forward to reading more of your work. You my dear, are a phenomenal writer.
With love,
Tolu.
hefseeba557
March 1, 2019 — 7:46 pm
Dear Abhay,
Where do I even begin?! I just want to let you know that you have always been an inspiration for me and you never NEVER fail to leave me speechless. I can identify a notable growth in you as an individual and it is evident in your writing – particularly in this piece. Thank you for opening up and sharing such a valuable aspect of yourself and, more importantly, sharing the changes you have undergone since last year. It’s admirable how you integrated such sweet stanzas filled with emotion and honesty to introduce yourself; it established a sense of raw, tender reality and revealed a hidden side.
As for improvements, I can only repeat what Claire and Iqra has already suggested. Try if you can weave in some aspects of your interests, personality, ans passions into the piece – particularly near the end. This may help to give the reader a better understanding of your individuality.
I’ve always been a fan and it seems like that’s never going to change. Your writing keeps getting better, and that has come with the changes and maturity you have experienced. Continue writing with this passion and emotion; I have no doubt that you will create more wonders!
Sincerely,
Hefseeba
liamcg
March 4, 2019 — 11:16 am
Ahbay,
Regret is a deceptive force, so harmless at our age, yet so overbearing to us in the moment. We have our entire lives ahead of us to weaponize against regret, and to push away from the destructive emotions that accompany it. You are a beautiful soul, and I hope you can harness logic to forward the pursuit of content, and never once face regret with a face of moribund or sorrow.
As for improvement, there isn’t much to be said that departs from minor structural or spacing discontinuities. Your writing has grown a near impeccable layer of polish and refinement, that will no doubt be tried and worn over time, but I trust you will tend to it accordingly. To get you started, I will contribute my own piece of wear, by telling you to add a period at the end of “it will touch”.
I’m proud and honored that I got to be a part of your development as the grand arbiter of language and life that you are today, and I wish for none less than what you are worth to meet you, wherever you decide to go, and whoever you decide to become.
Regards,
Liam.