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The Murmuring of Dark Skies

Title∼ This title is describing the voices of those who have passed away. Dark skies represent the afterlife, with murmurs of those long forgotten that can still be heard.

Here we are.

Summer and winter

she ran away like a majestic bird,

ready to take flight.

17 words∼ A tale of a brother and sister who were both left with the sting of regret.

Purpose and Audience∼ The intent was to capture my grandmother’s perspective and her brother’s perspective on the same page, without there being some sort of conflict for once. It was to show how meaningless these fights were because now, he’s gone. These murmurs are what regret would sound like if it could be heard.

Inspiration∼ My grandmother’s recent loss of a brother, like a year ago, is what inspired me to create this and channel all this raw pain and emotion into this poem. It felt like I needed to write this, like I needed to recognize this as something important to me.

My last kiss is not to be placed upon

my sisters withered cheeks; my last

kiss is reserved for death- so unexpected.

Craft/Style∼ A lot of the difficulty was finding imagery that suited the particular circumstances and getting into the voice of my grandmother’s brother, which was probably not completely accurate, but I wrote it in a way so that his intentions would be more clear. “Here we are…Three years alone…Gone” were three statements that I used to divide up this poem, which represented the transition that they both experienced.

If only- these two words are all that I have left.

Revision/Experimentation∼ It was actually nice creating something that was meaningful and that I knew would have an impact on the person who would be reading it. There was this authenticity that came when I was writing it because I could feel my grandmother’s pain leave my pen as I started writing. Revision wasn’t necessary because I spent a lot of time going through the poem, to make sure that it would truly do my grandmother and her brother justice.

 

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Ocean Eyes

 

Title∼ This title is used to describe how the eyes themselves are what lure us to a person and are the reason that many end up drowning as well.

17 words∼ Is drowning in temporary desire necessarily wrong if it allows the individual to live in eternal bliss.

Enough to drown a thousand men and a thousand after

Each of them gasping for breath, one last breath

Purpose/Audience∼ I really don’t know who I was writing it for because it was just me looking at the opposite end of popular belief, to see if I could find something relatable. The purpose, however, was to look at the idea of ‘desire’ and look to see whether pursuing it is necessarily wrong.

Inspiration∼ I got the idea of ‘Ocean eyes’ from Billie Eilish and tried creating a poem in which it would become my own. It has a lot to do with a feeling of being trapped by a lovers’ gaze and whether it is bad to surrender to this primal form of desire. Throughout the poem, the phrase ‘Ocean skies, your Ocean eyes’ is repeated as an allusion to the sirens from The Odyssey and how these words lure in victims.

Too beautiful for me to want to pull away

The sirens holding me hostage, but maybe I like it

Craft/Style∼ It was structured with 4 stanza’s and 4 lines per stanza with the words “Ocean skies, you Ocean eyes” repeated throughout it. The intention of this repetition was to mimic the song of the sirens that lured the sailors in, but this time they would be lured in by one sentence.

A tempest is seen today due south of the usual resting spot

It leaves me behind once again with desires unsatisfied

Revision/Experimentation∼ This type of writing has been quite typical for me, so the word ‘experimentation’ wasn’t as relevant as it was in my first poem. For this poem, I needed to revise it quite a bit after I got a rough idea of how it was going to look because I wanted to make sure that it would flow well.

At least it can be said that I never left, it was always you

 

 

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Girl with a violin

Shipwrecked boat

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